The divorce process can be a tumultuous roller coaster that will test every fabric of your emotional, mental and physical capacity. The physical impact of the divorce process is rooted in the emotional and mental stress that many people experience during a divorce. Some divorces are easily resolved, however, some can get downright ugly. With the significant emotions churning when dissolving a marriage many people lose sight of everyone around them, especially their children.
Children are impacted by divorce at any age. I’ve seen divorces impact young children and adult children in substantially the same way. A child’s entire way of life is about to significantly change. The new normal is awkward and often unpleasant. The child, whether young or old, struggles to rationalize what caused the break-up of his/her parents and it pains them to imagine life during the separation period and after the divorce is finalized.
I strongly encourage my clients to shield the children from the divorce process as much as reasonably possible. Your children are cognizant of what is going on and they are, in their own way, struggling too, There is no way to completely insulate your children, however, the more effort you put into maintaining as much normalcy for them as possible the better it will be for them and you may find it is even therapeutic for you.
All children strive to please their parents and there is nothing more beneficial to a child to see his/her parents getting along. Trust me, even if they are very young, they can sense the tension and they know that their parents are splitting up. This is hard enough. To see their parents arguing or being disrespectful to each other during a sporting event, a school function or a birthday party only exacerbates their anxiety and stress. There are too many cases where the children have to enter counseling, seek therapy and treatment due to their parents inability to be cordial to one another. So often the therapy and treatment should have been avoidable had the parents adhered to some simple guidelines and each worked to do what is best for their child(ren) and not themselves.
Always remember your struggles impact others more than you could ever imagine and during a divorce the impact on your children is enormous. Strive to be cordial to your spouse and work to shield your children from the process as much as you can.
For more information on divorce matters please contact the law firm of Schwam-Wilcox & Associates.